


How to Not Get a Date

by Dessarious



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack Fic, Don't Like Don't Read, Multi, Poly Relationship, Rare Pairings, chloedaminette, marinette is just trying to help, no one knows how to people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:47:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25833742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dessarious/pseuds/Dessarious
Summary: Chloe Bourgeois and Damian Wayne have known each other for years. They stick together at the social gatherings their parents drag them to to avoid people trying to curry favor with their parents, or worse trying to start up a romantic involvement. Now, at seventeen, Chloe asks Marinette to help her try and take their fake attachment to real dating. Marinette agrees, and immediately regrets it.Cross posted on Tumblr @Dessarious
Relationships: damian wayne/chloe bourgeois/marinette dupain-cheng
Comments: 66
Kudos: 314





	1. Chapter 1

“Chloe, you’re even more tense than usual. Relax, everything will be fine.” Marinette knew she needed to get the heiress out of her head before the target arrived. A worried Chloe was an explosive Chloe and that wouldn’t do anyone any good.

“I am relaxed!” Marinette just raised an eyebrow and the other girl huffed and looked away.

“Why don’t you tell me more about him? Maybe it’ll help get you ready to face him.” Marinette still had no idea how she’d ended up here. About a week earlier they’d be having a sleepover, everything normal, when Chloe suddenly started ranting about galas and how she and some boy always pretended to be ‘with’ each other to fend off other suitors. It had taken her over an hour to get to the important part, which was that she wanted to date him for real but didn’t think he’d be interested. Marinette had asked a few questions and given a few tips on how to tell and before she knew it she was making them both stunning outfits and going to the charity gala as Chloe’s plus one.

“He’s rich, uptight, and the only one of these idiots worth talking to. Isn’t that enough?” Marinette could only sigh and roll her eyes. If she couldn’t complement the boy when he wasn’t even there how was she supposed to do it to his face? Suddenly Chloe was poking her in the ribs. “There he is!” The hissed exclamation had a hysterical edge to it. This was going to be a disaster.

Marinette looked to where Chloe had gestured and saw him immediately. He radiated much the same attitude as Chloe. ‘Get away from me you peasant, before I have you thrown in the stocks’. He also had a decidedly dangerous feel to him that she could quite place.

“He’s definitely handsome.” She couldn’t help the tease, hoping it would help get Chloe back to her normal version of tense. The other girl scoffed.

“Of course he’s handsome. Do you honestly think I would be seen with him if he weren’t? Shh, he’s coming!” Marinette could tell the moment he spotted Chloe. He was still obviously unhappy with his surroundings but his expression and posture loosened perceptibly. As he got closer Marinette felt his cold glare shift to her and she just offered him a bright smile.

“Bourgeois.” His tone was one of practiced boredom, but Marinette could hear the undertone of relief.

“Wayne.” Chloe wouldn’t even look at him. It was going to be a long night.

“Is this a friend of yours?”

“Yes.” That was it. Marinette had to stop herself from groaning.

“I’m Marinette. It’s nice to meet you.” She held out and hand and the boy hesitated, looking for Chloe’s reaction before taking it.

“Damian Wayne.” He seemed to be waiting for something from her but she had no idea what it was. Chloe was still annoyingly mute.

“Chloe’s been telling me how you two normally team up at these functions. I know how much she appreciates having someone to keep the creeps away.” He was still studying her and Marinette had the urge to check and make sure her dress hadn’t slipped anywhere. That was some stare he had.

“She helps me just as much, if not more. The amount of people after my father’s money is pathetic honestly.” He looked between the two of them and Marinette noticed Chloe was doing everything she could not to make eye contact. “So how do you two know each other?” Marinette opened her mouth to respond but Chloe beat her to it.

“We’re dating.” Marinette could only stare at the other girl, praying that hadn’t actually come out of her mouth. What the actual hell? Damian seemed taken aback, but she caught what could have been a sad look as well. She may have just made that up though.

“Oh, well congratulations. I suppose that means our arrangement is canceled.”

“No!” Marinette and Chloe both shouted the word at the same time but Marinette continued when Chloe shot her a panicked look. “I’m not rich or famous so I don’t need that kind of cover. I’m happy to let you two keep each other safe. Besides we’re not exactly public and this is really not the best time to out ourselves. So really you’d be doing us a huge favor.” She was rambling. She knew it. She just couldn’t stop. The fact that Chloe was nodding along beside her didn’t help at all. Poor Damian just looked confused.

“If that is acceptable to both of you I suppose I’m fine with the arrangement.” He didn’t sound fine with it and that gave Marinette some hope that he did like Chloe, at least a little bit. How the hell they were supposed to get out of this mess to figure that out, she had no clue. “Why don’t I get us all drinks and we can find a corner to get out of the line of fire and make fun of the people trying to kiss up to each other?” Chloe just nodded and he walked off.

“What the hell was that! Dating? Have you lost your mind?” Marinette rounded on Chloe the second the boy was out of earshot.

“I don’t know! I panicked!”

“Chloe, that was not panicking. Vomiting on him would have been panicking. That was pure self sabotage and you’d better have a way out of it.” Marinette had been up three days straight making their outfits for this so she could impress that boy. Three days. Chloe shot her an apologetic look and Marinette just sighed. “Maybe we can use this to our advantage. See if he gets jealous. Just for the love of Kwamis, don’t make it worse.”

“I swear.” Despite the solemn promise Marinette couldn’t shake the feeling that this was about to get so much worse.


	2. Chapter 2

An Hour later Marinette was leaning against the wall, listening to Damian and Chloe make fun of the other attendees. She had a pretty good idea of why they got along so well. Given that neither one had acknowledged her existence in the last twenty minutes she thought it was a good time to slip away. She hoped that Chloe would be able to do something to salvage this situation without her there.

“Where are you going?” Damian’s aggressive tone caused her to turn back with a confused frown.

“I promised my parents I would say hi at some point. This seemed as good an opportunity as any.” That just caused his scowl to deepen and she had no idea why.

“How is it that your parents got an invite, let alone were able to afford tickets to this event, if you aren’t rich or famous?” Chloe looked ready to go off on the boy but Marinette made a calming gesture. She counted Damian’s hostility as a plus since it made it seem like he was being protective of Chloe. Not to mention the last thing they needed was the two of them fighting, or worse, getting Akumatized.

“I’m only here because Chloe was generous enough to invite me as her plus one. My parents are here because they’re catering the event.” He obviously wasn’t expecting such a calm and reasonable response. Marinette took advantage of his stunned silence to smile brightly at them both before walking towards the area set up for the catering and serving staff.

————————————————–

“What the hell was that Wayne?” Chloe was trying to keep her temper in check but Marinette of all people didn’t deserve to have to go through his interrogation. Yes, they’d been looking out for each other at these functions for years but she didn’t appreciate him grilling her ‘girlfriend’.

“It was suspicious. I merely acted accordingly.” His entire body was stiff and he wouldn’t look her in the eye. She wasn’t good enough at reading people to have any idea what that meant. This was why she’d begged Mari to come in the first place.

“I suppose from your perspective it would be. But I promise you don’t have to worry about Mari. She’s nothing like the people we’re used to.” They both watched as Marinette practically jumped into her father’s arms and he spun her around. It was still strange to see such natural interaction between a child and their parents. In her and Damian’s world everything was forced or held back. In public especially everything was stiff and formal.

“You don’t know that. She could just have latched onto you for your money or connections. What’s to say she’s not just using you until she can find a bigger fish to latch onto?” Chloe just rolled her eyes. She wanted to be mad at his implication that she’d be so careless, but it was actually cute that he was so concerned. However misplaced that concern was.

“I’ve known Mari since we were six Damian. She’s not like that. Besides, give it three years, tops, and she’ll have more money and fame on her own than both my parents combined. If anything, I’m the one benefiting here.” It may be a slight exaggeration, but she didn’t think so. With Mari’s talent and passion, not to mention the connections she’d already made, it was only a matter of time before she figured out what direction she wanted to go in. Once that decision was made there wouldn’t be anything or anyone that could stop her. She could see the skeptical look Damian was shooting at her from the corner of her eye. “I wish you had time to get to know her. Both to prove I’m right and because I think you could use someone like that as a friend as well. It’s nice having someone you don’t have to constantly worry about running to the press or telling you what they think you want to hear just because they don’t want to be booted off the gravy train.”

Chloe had no idea how toxic most of her relationships were until she started becoming friends with Marinette. She’d followed her parents example and only kept people around who did as they were told and always validated that she was right. Looking back she cringed at how messed up everything was but she didn’t know it was supposed to be different. Damian had a slightly healthier home life, at least after his mother had dropped out of his life from what he’d told her, but he had very few people outside of family that he could trust or count on.

“Funny you should say that.” His tone was dry but there was a nervous undertone she couldn’t place. “Father agreed to let me graduate early with the condition that I manage a branch of the business as a sort of work study program. In an effort to get away from my brothers I decided on an overseas branch. And since you’re the only tolerable person I know overseas, I picked Paris. I’ll be working and living here for at least six months.” His bored tone was at odds with his posture and Chloe was so busy trying to account for the difference that it took her a minute to actually process his words. When she did she felt a grin spread over her face.

“That’s amazing!” Thank Kwami she had more than one night to try and fix this mess. Plus he’d called her tolerable and that was high praise from the Damian Wayne. “We’ll have to go out and celebrate once you’re settled. I can show you all the best places in Paris no matter what your preferences.” This was going to be so wonderful. She’d get to spend time with him, just the two of them. She couldn’t wait to tell Mari!

“I’m sure you’d rather spend time with your girlfriend than waste it taking me around Paris.” The immediate denial that came up didn’t make it out of her mouth, and she had no clue why. It was a perfect opportunity to tell him that she’d panicked and lied about her relationship, but she couldn’t get the words out. What was wrong with her?

“I want to spend time with you too Damian. But if you feel weird about taking up my time, Mari could always come with us.” What the hell had just come out of her mouth? She saw Mari over Damian’s shoulder and judging from her expression she’d heard it too. The look the girl was giving her said quite plainly that she was an idiot. She was suddenly less worried about dating Damian and more worried about Marinette smothering her in her sleep for making it necessary to keep pretending they were together. Chloe wouldn’t blame her either. She still had no idea why that, of all things, is what she’d defaulted to. Okay, maybe she had some idea…


	3. Chapter 3

Marinette actually threw her arms up and stalked away before Damian noticed her. Chloe winced. She was going to have to do something huge to make up for this. When she looked back at Damian he seemed to be waiting for something. Crap. He must have said something.

“Sorry, what was that?” She had to bite back a smile at his annoyed frown. He was cute when he pouted.

“I said, do you really think it’s a good idea to date outside your social class?”

“Excuse me?” Her knee jerk reaction was to be offended but given that he had more than one sibling that started off at a different social class there had to be more to that question than the obvious.

“I just mean that it’s not an easy adjustment and no one knows how they’ll cope with it until it happens. What if the recognition, not to mention the press, are too much for her to handle? Can you afford to risk it? Is it fair to her to ask her to give up any sense of privacy and normalcy just to date you? I just think it would be simpler to pick someone who is already used to such things.” Rational and logical. She should have expected something like that.

“Did you have someone in mind?” She couldn’t help the tease and felt a surge of hope when his cheeks pinkened. “But honestly Damian, that’s not how feelings work. You can’t help who you’re attracted to or fall in love with. Yes, you can date and marry out of convenience but that’s not what I want. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. I don’t want what my parents have. A sham marriage they play up for the cameras when they actually happen to be in the same city. I want something real. Don’t you?” The look he was giving her… what even was that?

“Yes, I suppose so.” The words were soft, almost like he hadn’t meant to say them out loud. She was going to respond when something caught her attention over his shoulder.

“Damn it! What is he even doing here?” She barely registered Damian’s confused expression as she rushed past him towards the man cornering Mari. The bastard hadn’t even left his house in the last six months so she thought it would be safe. Apparently not. “Shit.” She continued cursing and only vaguely noticed that Damian was beside her. When she got close enough to hear what was being said she felt there was a real possibility she’d end the night in jail for assault.

“Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, you may think yourself clever but I can have you blacklisted in the fashion industry with one phone call.” Gabriel had never been her favorite person but about a year ago he’d started targeting Mari and no one seemed to know why. Adrien was standing behind his father looking like he was about to throw up. They really needed to get him out of that house. Mari just raised an eyebrow at the fashion mogul.

“Even if you are still that influential in the industry, and I highly doubt it given your current lines, at best you’d be able to blacklist me in the world of high fashion. No offense, but designing thirty thousand dollar dresses that might be worn once doesn’t really appeal to me.” Chloe held back a laugh at Mari’s words and bored tone. Damian could be as concerned as he wanted about how Marinette would handle herself in the spotlight, this proved she was more than up to the task. She walked up behind the shorter girl and glared at Gabriel over her head.

“Not to mention you can’t even do that. My mother is still the last word in fashion and Mari is her favorite up and coming designer. You can take your empty threats and leave.” The disgusted sneer he aimed at the pair of them set her blood boiling. Adrien was making nonsense hand gestures behind him, probably trying to get her to calm down.

“Audrey is fickle in her approval, you of all people should know that.” That’s it she was going to castrate the pompous prick. Before she could snap back, Damian stepped in between, forcing Gabriel to back up.

“And you should know when to roll over. Or do you enjoy being ripped apart by teenagers? Regardless of the influence and power you think you have, I assure you this is a battle you can’t win.” The man didn’t even attempt to hide his contempt.

“This does not concern you Wayne. Run back to your father before you get yourself in over your head.” The demonic smile that took over Damian’s face should have made Gabriel wet his pants but the man was apparently far too wrapped up in his own ego to have any concept of self preservation.

“I believe about half of your current revenue comes from your contracts with Wayne Enterprises, does it not?” Damian didn’t even wait for an answer, and Chloe honestly doubted Gabriel knew anyway. “You might want to rethink your condescension given that as of Monday I’ll be running the Paris branch and I have full authority to cancel any and all contracts if I feel they aren’t in the company’s best interest.” 

“You’re bluffing.” The words seemed to surprise the man even though they came out of his mouth.

“Try me Agreste. Your image has been in a downward spiral for years, that’s all the reason I need to sever all business dealings with you and your company.” Gabriel looked too stunned to respond but Adrien was actually giving Damian a thumbs up behind his back. It was rare anyone struck the man speechless. Mari leaned back to whisper in Chloe’s ear.

“Okay, he just shot past handsome to smoking hot.” They made eye contact and burst out laughing as Gabriel stormed off in a huff, dragging Adrien with him. Damian was frowning at them as though they’d lost their minds.


	4. Chapter 4

“I don’t see how any of this is funny.” Marinette tried to sober her expression at Damian’s scowl but just ended up falling into another fit of giggles the second she and Chloe made eye contact again.

“You’re in the land of the Akuma Wayne. It’s either laugh or become a fashion disaster that terrorizes the citizens of Paris. Laughter is preferable, though Mari had to practically beat that lesson into me.” There was a bitterness in Chloe’s tone, aimed at herself, and Marinette reached over to rub soothing circles on the other girl’s back. No matter how many times they talked about it she couldn’t get Chloe to believe she’d changed. Damian actually scoffed.

“This villain of yours doesn’t scare me. Anyone weak willed enough to be taken over by a butterfly deserves what they get.” The devastated expression on Chloe’s face at that pronouncement shoved Marinette into protection mode. She put herself between the two and shoved her finger in Damian’s chest.

“Listen here you pompous jerk. I get you’re probably used to your family’s money and influence putting you above most common inconveniences. Let me assure you that it will do you no good if an Akuma comes for you. Turning Hawkmoth away isn’t a simple matter of willpower. And how dare you mock his victims. No one deserves to have their emotions used against them let alone be stripped of their free will.” As she was about to launch further into her lecture Chloe grabbed her from behind and pulled her into a hug. Damian just looked stunned. She had a feeling people didn’t stand up to him often.

“Please don’t get worked up over this. I’m certain I’d never forgive myself if I was what ended up getting you Akumatized.” Chloe’s words were soft enough that she doubted Damian heard them but it was enough to make her take a few deep breaths and calm down.

“I’m sorry, but you know I can’t just ignore something like that.” The only response she got was the arms around her tightening. Damian was still glaring at her.

“Just because you couldn’t resist his influence doesn’t mean others are incapable of it.” Chloe’s crush or not, she was about to eviscerate the boy.

“Mari’s never been Akumatized, but I used to be one of Hawkmoth’s favorite targets.” Damian’s face went completely blank. It was obviously not something he’d considered. Maybe he really did think wealth and privilege would protect people.

“There you are! Are you kids having a good time?” Marinette’s head snapped up to see Audrey and a man she didn’t know, but she assumed was Damian’s father by the physical resemblance. There were quite a few curse words running through her head and judging from how tense Chloe was, she wasn’t much better off. Even Damian seemed more stiff and she hadn’t thought that was possible.

“Of course we are Mother. Mr. Wayne, it’s nice to see you again.” The man smiled at Chloe and there was a genuine warmth to it that Marinette wasn’t used to seeing in affluent families. Granted, her only real examples were Chloe, Adrien, and Kagami’s parents so her view might be a little skewed. Okay, it was definitely skewed.

“It’s nice to see you as well Chloe. Did Damian tell you his big news?” The man seemed almost excited that his son was moving to another country. Odd.

“He did. It will be nice to have him around for more than a few hours. I’m interested to see how he acts when he’s not surrounded by high society.” Chloe’s words were met with amusement from the adults and an annoyed scowl from Damian.

“I’m trusting you to teach him how to have fun while he’s here. All the family’s efforts have been fruitless so you’re our last hope.” Damian shifted uncomfortably at the backhanded criticism and Marinette’s mouth decided to join in before her brain could catch up.

“Just because he doesn’t enjoy the things you think he should doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to have fun.” Audrey still looked amused but the man was frowning at her thoughtfully. Why did she always do this to herself?

“And you are?” She couldn’t get a read on his tone. It sounded far too neutral to be natural but she couldn’t tell if he was upset with her or not.

“This is the most talented protégé I’ve ever had, as well as my conscience in all things parenting that I never knew I needed, Mlle. Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” Marinette felt her face flush at Audrey’s praise. While it was true she’d called the woman out on the way she treated Chloe, she didn’t think it was anything special.

“I don’t know about all of that but I do love fashion and I hope to grow my brand.” Her mumbled words were delivered to the floor. Akumas she could handle. Bullies she could handle. Insane deadlines she could handle. Praise? Absolutely not.

“Don’t let her fool you. Marinette is modest to a fault but she’ll be a household name in a maximum of five years. Less if I can get her to agree to do fashion week.” Marinette winced and silently hoped that the subject would be dropped. This had been an ongoing argument for six months. If she did fashion week she’d have to out herself to the world and she absolutely was not ready for that. Only a handful of people knew that she was the designer behind Rising Up Fashion and she’d really like to keep it that way.

“She’s also Chloe’s girlfriend.” Damian’s words caused her head to snap up as she heard a shape inhale from Chloe behind her. She’d almost forgotten about that dumpster fire, but it had never occurred to her that the lie would reach either of their parents. Audrey’s face went completely blank as she took in the fact that Chloe was still hugging Marinette from behind.

“Girlfriend?”


	5. Chapter 5

Chloe felt Marinette freeze in front of her and could only stare at Damian in horror. When Marinette said they weren’t out he must have assumed she meant publicly. Judging from the ‘oh shit’ look on his face he’d realized his error.

“Chloe is this true?” Her focus was pulled back to her mother and she had no idea how to respond. Later, she’d think about the perfect thing to say to get out of this mess. Right now, she panicked.

“Mom, I can explain… we wanted to test it out before telling anyone, you know in case it didn’t work out. That way we could just go back to being friends without all the drama.” Where had that come from? Marinette let out a strangled noise and Chloe cringed.

“This is wonderful news!” She sounded excited and Chloe had to wonder what her mother heard as opposed to what she said. “You two make such a cute couple, very photogenic. It will help Marinette’s career to have a significant other that’s used to the environment and with her success you’ll get more in the public eye as well. That way when you finally decide what you’re going to do with your life you’ll already have the exposure you need.” From anyone else, that would sound condescending, but for her mother that was just her way of showing interest in her life.

“I’m glad you approve?” She felt like she’d just stepped into a dream or a nightmare, it was still a toss up which.

“I need to have an official announcement drafted, and we’ll have to make sure you two are seen in public together. Not too much PDA of course, but a few dates with the two of you holding hands and being sweet will make for wonderful press.” She walked off pulling out her phone and still rambling to herself. This was bad.

“Did she say press?” Marinette’s voice was about an octave and a half too high and Chloe was about eighty percent certain she was going to suffer serious bodily harm before the night was over. She fully admitted she deserved it too.

“Damian what did you just do?” Mr. Wayne’s voice was full of reproof but she could tell he hadn’t actually meant to cause problems.

“It’s my fault. I should have been clearer on our situation, or just kept it to myself.” One person should not be able to screw up so badly all in one night. “I’ll go try and keep her from actually making an announcement.” As she moved to follow, Marinette stopped her.

“No offense but you still give in to your mother far too easily. It would probably be better if I went.” Her tone was gentle and Chloe knew she was just being expedient. The fact that she was right didn’t help either.

“I suppose so. I’m so sorry about this Mari.” The girl just gave her arm a comforting squeeze before practically jogging after her mother. It was for the best. Marinette had a much better track record with her mother.

“Chloe I…” Damian didn’t seem to know what to say and she just nodded at him.

“I know. Like I said, I should have been clearer. Granted in the future, if someone tells you something as a friend, maybe ask if it’s okay to mention it to other people.” He flinched at her words but she wasn’t sure why.

“Well, congratulations anyway. I hope this won’t put too much pressure on you two.” She tried to smile at Mr. Wayne but judging by his expression she’d failed miserably. Before she could try and come up with a response, Mari walked back over looking annoyed.

“What happened?” The glare her fake girlfriend shot at her was terrifying. If Chloe weren’t in front of other people there was every possibility it would have sent her running.

“Well I convinced your mother that our private life should remain private until we choose to share it.” That was far more than Chloe had expected, but then again Marinette tended to get her mother to agree to a lot of things no one thought were possible.

“But?” She still looked far too upset for that to be everything.

“I didn’t catch up to her until after she talked to my parents.” Chloe couldn’t help the half hysterical giggle that came out and Mari’s glare intensified. She cleared her throat.

“So how’d they take it?”

“Papa is rehearsing his shovel talk and designing a wedding cake. Maman wants to take me fabric shopping for wedding dresses, or suits, or whatever it is kids are doing these days.” She tried to keep a sober expression, she really did, but she just couldn’t do it. As soon as she started laughing Marinette sighed in exasperation. “I really hate you sometimes.” That just set her off even more. Once she could breathe properly she just grinned at the other girl.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your parents?” That at least produced an amused scoff.

“I think maybe once or twice. Or you know, every single time they feed you.”

“For good reason. Honestly if I’d known how much better food was at your house I would have mended fences with you a lot sooner.” Marinette rolled her eyes and Chloe could tell she was trying not to let a smile surface.

“I see how it is. You’re just using me for the food perks.”

“Obviously.” They held eye contact for a few seconds before they both went into another giggle fit while Damian and Mr. Wayne both just looked at them like they’d lost their minds.


	6. Chapter 6

“This is such a mess.” Chloe thought Marinette was being optimistic with that observation. They’d made it through the rest of the night without any more snags, but honestly the only thing that could have made things worse was her mother actually calling a press conference.

“I’m so sorry Mari. I still don’t know why that of all things is what came out of my mouth.” Wishful thinking aside, Marinette had been at least partly right when she called it self sabotage. Remembering her mother’s comment about how Marinette would help her fame, Chloe couldn’t help but wonder if she just panicked because Damian was a Wayne. And after all what could she possibly offer someone who can literally buy anything a dozen times over? “I’ll find a way to fix this I promise.”

“We’ll find a way to fix this. I agreed to play along so it’s as much my fault as yours at this point. We’re just going to have to figure out how to keep it contained until we do have a plan. The last thing either of us wants is to have to stage some ridiculous breakup so that everyone believes we aren’t a couple.” Chloe shuddered at the thought. Her mother was going to be disappointed enough as it was, if they had to do a public blow up there was a fifty fifty chance she’d get disowned.

“So what do you think of Damian?” Marinette’s nose wrinkled in annoyance. After the Akuma comment it wasn’t surprising.

“I think he’s stuck up and lacks empathy, but neither of those are incurable faults. I could tell he’s more comfortable around you than anyone else so what I saw may have just been his defenses too.”

“Do you think I have a chance?” The hesitance in her tone made Chloe wish it was soft enough Marinette didn’t hear it, but she wasn’t that lucky. The other girl just pinned her with a stern look.

“Out of everyone he could have attached himself to, he chose you. Out of all the places in the world he could have decided to run part of his father’s company, he chose Paris. I’d say you have more than a shot.” Chloe appreciated the optimism but there was a nagging doubt that wouldn’t go away.

“Maybe, or maybe he really did just want to get away from his brothers. Damian’s the youngest even if he is Bruce Wayne’s only biological son and from what he’s told me they give him shit about it all the time.” Sure, putting an ocean between them might seem extreme but when your family had access to private jets, nowhere was far enough. Marinette just rolled her eyes. Before she could respond her phone rang. She frowned when she saw the screen. “Who is it?”

“My parents, but they’re requesting a video call. That’s weird.” She answered it and Chloe could hear her father in the background asking if it was safe to look. What? “Is something wrong?”

“No dear we just weren’t sure what we’d be interrupting, which is actually why we called.” Chloe just shared a confused look with Marinette.

“We’re just talking and getting ready to sleep. You’re not interrupting anything. And what do you mean it’s why you’re calling?”

“Well after what you told us we did a little research.” Oh that couldn’t be good.

“Yes we found some very informative websites.” Marinette’s father sounded… worried maybe?

“We just want to make sure you two are being safe.” Chloe couldn’t keep up and Marinette just seemed done with the rambling.

“Maman, Papa what are you talking about?” There was dead silence on the other end of the phone for a full minute.

“About the two of you being intimate of course. We’re not that old Marinette, and just because neither of you can get pregnant doesn’t mean you don’t need to take precautions. I didn’t even know what kinds until we started looking things up, but there’s such a wide variety.” Marinette’s face went beet red and Chloe was fairly certain she was going to explode.

“Stop! I’m not listening to this. We’re not doing anything or planning on doing anything anytime soon so there’s nothing to worry about okay? Bye.” Chloe could hear her parents arguing with her before she just hung up the phone and groaned. “Dear Kwami, the birds and the bees talk was bad enough the first time around, I don’t think I can survive the lesbian version fueled by who knows what websites.”

“I think it’s sweet.” Marinette was looking at her like she’d lost her mind. “What? Daddy was so embarrassed he just handed me a book and told me to ask Mother if I had any questions. When I did that she set up an appointment with a gynecologist to get me on birth control. The doctor is the one who ended up explaining things.” Granted, it was far more thorough than anything her parents were likely to have been able to manage anyway. And they definitely wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of looking up things specific to a certain sexuality. 

“Fair enough. But I still think that had to be less traumatizing than listening to your parents go into very specific examples that gave me nightmares for years.” Marinette actually shuddered at the thought and Chloe couldn’t help but laugh. It was completely worth the pillow in the face she got for it too.


	7. Chapter 7

Marinette woke to an insistent knocking and pulled a pillow over her head to make it stop. It didn’t.

“Mari, can you get that? I’m a little busy at the moment.” Chloe’s voice was coming from the bathroom and Marinette groaned in response. Great, now she actually had to move. Why do people insist on being awake this early? She dragged herself out of the bed towards the door, grumbling the whole way. She jerked the door open to glare at the person on the other side.

“What do you want?” She watched Damian blink at her in surprise for a moment before her brain caught up with the fact that it was him. When she finally managed to process that information she turned to yell. “Chloe, Damian’s here and I’m sure it’s not for me. Hurry up.” She walked away from the still open door to go collapse on the couch.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” Chloe’s voice had that near hysterical edge to it again and Marinette could only roll her eyes. She’d been a disaster around Adrien sure, but she’d never been Chloe’s level of disaster. She still couldn’t understand what it was about this boy that made her so nervous. Sure he had looks and money going for him, but as far as Marinette could tell that was it.

“I’m surprised your parents let the two of you stay overnight together.” Marinette frowned at him in confusion for a minute. Why would their parents object to something they did all the time? Oh shit. She felt her face turn bright red as the conversation her parents came back into her head.

“Why does everyone assume two people in a relationship can’t just sleep in the same room without something else happening?” She didn’t realize how pissed off she sounded until she saw the way Damian was eyeing her. She was too tired to deal with this garbage. Rather than attempt an apology she just covered her face with a pillow.

“You can’t go back to sleep Mari. I promised your parents we’d go there for breakfast after you hung up on them.” She just groaned at that. She honestly still couldn’t believe this was happening. “I promise I’ll make it up to you later. We can take Damian with us so that they’ll be less likely to embarrass you.” Marinette removed the pillow to glare at Chloe but ended up dissolving into laughter at Damian’s horrified expression.

“He doesn’t look too thrilled with the idea. Perhaps you should ask people before you volunteer them for things.” Chloe shrugged at her.

“He’ll thank me when he gets to eat your parents food. Besides, he just got here so he has nothing better to do. Right Damian?” The boy blinked at her for a moment, obviously trying and failing to come up with something.

“I simply wanted your opinion on the hotel food, not to get in the way of your plans.” He was lying to a point though it was hard to spot. That worried Marinette. Not that he would lie to get out of this, because anyone would do that, but that he seemed so practiced at it. Chloe just waved him off.

“You’re not getting in the way, and if you want my opinion Mari’s parents are the best people in Paris to get food from so you’re coming with us. Mari, go get dressed.” She grumbled but did get up to trudge to the bathroom. Letting her parents stew too long on the fact she hung up on them wasn’t a good idea. She still took her time though. If asked she’d say it was to give Chloe time to talk with Damian, in truth she just really hated mornings. When she did surface from the bathroom she found them talking about his dog and good places to walk him. So he had a pet and cared enough to make sure they were well taken care of. That was a definite positive.

She just waited while they talked. Yes she was putting off going home but watching them interact when they didn’t know they were being watched was educational. Chloe was more animated with him than anyone she’d ever seen. For all her nerves seemed to go haywire when she considered dating him, she was obviously extremely comfortable with him. Damian was completely focused on her and their conversation. He seemed a bit more relaxed, but it was really hard to tell. He was insanely hard to read and Marinette understood why Chloe had so much trouble with it. But there were small things. He leaned in towards her rather than away as she’d seen him do with everyone at the party. His mouth would occasionally try to form a smile before he seemed to push it down. His real tell was the eyes though. That’s where she could see amusement or annoyance. Given the way he glared at everyone else the look in them now could be considered soft. At least until he noticed her.

“Do you always eavesdrop on private conversations?” Marinette just tilted her head at him with a confused frown.

“Do you always overreact so badly to someone reentering a room?” If his scowl was any indication, yes, yes he did. “I didn’t want to interrupt but if it makes you feel better I’ll try to remember to make my presence known next time.” He just continued to glare at her until Chloe nudged him in the ribs.

“Fine. If you’re finally ready we should go. I would like to keep at least a semi regular schedule.” She would have responded but her phone chose that moment to beep at her. When she saw the text from her mother she let out a string of curses in a few different languages. Damian actually looked rather impressed.

“What’s wrong?” She just sighed in annoyance before giving Chloe a reassuring smile.

“Apparently Lila decided our classmates weren’t enough of an audience. She’s at the bakery telling my parents all sorts of nonsense. Papa’s recording it.” At least there would be entertainment later. “I suppose we should get moving before the liar manages to get Maman Akumatized with her idiocy.”


	8. Chapter 8

Marinette looked like she was about to head into a war zone as they got closer to the bakery. Chloe needed to find a way to calm her down before they got there. She was honestly afraid Marinette would attack Lila otherwise. She’d gotten used to the girls garbage at school but the idiot had never dared go after her home turf before.

“Bet you’re glad I forced you to tell your parents about that harpy.” Judging by the glare she got that was not an appropriate joke. Mari had been against the idea of telling her parents, more because she didn’t want them getting involved at the school. Once they transferred classes it didn’t seem necessary, but Chloe knew Lila’s type. She was vindictive and didn’t like losing her favorite target.

“That harpy is going to regret the day she was born if she gets either of my parents Akumatized.” The words were practically growled and Chloe saw a look of approval in Damian’s eyes. She should have expected that.

“Calm down Mari. They knew to be on guard against her bullshit. I’m sure it will be fine.” She mumbled something under her breath that Chloe didn’t catch but she saw Damian’s eyes widen in shock so it must have been interesting. They stormed into the bakery to find Tom and Sabine laughing hysterically while Lila just looked confused.

“What’s going on here?” Lila jumped and turned to face them. She knew better than to pull her act on Chloe and Mari. Then her eyes landed on Damian. Oh this, this was going to be freaking hilarious.

“She said-” Sabine broke into laughter again and had to compose herself to finish. “She said you were sleeping with your principal.” The way Marinette’s face screwed up in disgust was actually pretty adorable.

“It’s the truth. I just wanted to warn you so you could get her the help she needs.” Lila was edging closer to Damian and Chloe could see the revulsion on his face. Mari was apparently just done with her bullshit.

“I’ll say this once Lila. I’ve let you keep up your act at school because I honestly don’t give a shit what any of those people think of me anymore. But if you ever come near my family again I will destroy your house of cards. Do you understand me?” The moron put on a fake expression of fear, she was too stupid to realize she really should be scared, and grabbed onto Damian.

“Did you hear that? She’s been bullying and threatening me for years. I’ve always been too scared to do anything about it though.” The fake tears just made Chloe roll her eyes. Damian ripped his arm out of her grasp causing her to stumble.

“Don’t ever touch me. If it happens again I’ll bring you up on harassment charges.” Lila floundered for a moment before turning up the water works. She really needed to learn when to quit.

“I’m sorry, it helps ground me. Ever since she started targeting me I’ve had anxiety attacks. I still don’t know why she picked me to abuse.” She sounded pitiful enough, Chloe would give her that. The problem with Lila’s act had always been the lack of subtlety, both in her stories and in the way she watched for reactions in the people around her. It was obvious she was looking for specific things and adjusting accordingly. Amateur.

“Then you shouldn’t have gone to the one place she was almost certain to be. You’re either stupid, a masochist, or a lair. Possibly all three. In any case I want nothing to do with you and it seems everyone here shares the sentiment, so I suggest you leave before you embarrass yourself further.” Lila surveyed them all one last time, trying to figure out if there were any weak links. When she didn’t find one she sneered at them all.

“You’ll regret going against me. Especially you.” The last was addressed to Damian and Chloe coughed to cover a laugh. Damian stepped into her personal space with a look that had cowed countless people over the years.

“Listen and listen well little girl. I do not take threats lightly but I’m giving you one chance given I don’t know the entire situation here. You will not look at me, talk to me, or talk about me. If I get even a hint of you defaming me the way you apparently have Miss Dupain-Cheng you will be on the receiving end of the full force of the Wayne Enterprises legal team. And it won’t just be the things you say about me I’ll go after you for. By the time I’m done you will lose everything you think you’ve gained by your lies and anything else I can find to take from you.” His voice wasn’t even threatening, not for him. It was cold and matter of fact. Lila paled dramatically. It really was a glorious sight.

“And I’ll help because unlike you I actually know a lot of the people you’ve lied about and can put him in contact with them. If Mari hadn’t specifically asked me not to, I would have outed you already.” Chloe said she knew them rather than Marinette simply because Mari was insanely private. Chloe still couldn’t understand why she didn’t want people knowing how well connected she was but she wouldn’t go against the other girls wishes. Lila’s eyes just bounced between them for a moment before she bolted for the door. It was the first smart thing she’d done all day. Mari was frowning after her thoughtfully.

“I wonder what Principal Damocles did to get on her shit list. Sure saying I’m sleeping with him hits my reputation but that could get him fired. Given that he doesn’t check her absences or medical conditions it had to have been something big for her to risk a more competent person taking his place.” She seemed to be musing out loud but Chloe couldn’t help but scoff at the idea.

“What makes you think she thought that far ahead?” Mari just cocked her head in thought.

“Because she didn’t spread the rumor at school, she took it to my parents. The only people likely to do more than gossip about it. It makes far more sense that she came here for the first time for something big rather than just because she’s bored. It’s too risky a move.” She made a good point, but Chloe still wasn’t certain the liar ever thought beyond the immediate repercussions of her actions. Marinette sighed. “One thing is almost certain though. She’s about to get Akumatized again.”


	9. Chapter 9

Marinette was insanely on edge. It was enough to keep her parents in line and cause Damian to keep eyeing her like she was a bomb about to go off. The longer there was no Akuma the worse it got.

“Maybe Hawkmoth is busy, or out of town.” Mari just glared at her. “Either way, what is worrying going to accomplish?” It was obviously not the right thing to say but Chloe was pretty sure the tension in the room was more dangerous at this point.

“Lila always comes after me. Always. Any time it takes too long it’s one of her stealth or shapeshifting Akuma’s that causes an insane amount of problems before we even realize that’s what happened. I hate just sitting here and waiting for her bullshit.” Chloe mentally slapped herself. Having Damian here was keeping her from transforming and going out to look for Lila, not to mention making it more likely she wouldn’t be able to get away to transform at all. No wonder she was so high strung.

“Damian, why don’t we go back to the hotel and I can help you get settled and answer any questions you have about the city.” Mari looked relieved but now Damian was scowling at her.

“Your girlfriend is obviously distressed and you want to abandon her?” That was not the response she expected. She could only frown at him and try to follow his reasoning. It didn’t work.

“Mari prefers to be alone if there’s an Akuma, or even the threat of one. There’s been too many times where they create armies out of civilians and she’s been attacked when people around her were hit.” It was more true than she liked to admit. How someone who was supposed to be the embodiment of luck ended up in the middle of things so often was beyond her. Damian looked like he wanted to argue.

“She’s right. I would rather you both be somewhere safe. I should probably go somewhere less easy to find and away from my parents as well.” Lila would most likely come to the bakery first if her previous pattern held. Chloe couldn’t understand why Hawkmoth kept Akumatizing her when she was so predictable. The last few fights had only lasted minutes once they found her. For some reason that also had Mari on edge.

“That’s foolish. There’s a reason for the phrase ‘strength in numbers’.” Damian’s tone was down right insulting but Mari just hummed in thought.

“In many cases that’s true, but Akuma’s are oftentimes unique. Lila especially tends to become one that causes chaos and that can often be mitigated by not being in a group. Also since she tends to go after me it makes more sense to stay away from others so she can’t use them, as well as so the heroes can use me as bait without collateral damage.” Damian was staring at her like she was insane. If Chloe wasn’t used to the way Mari viewed things she would probably agree with him.

“Your heroes use civilians as bait?” Now he just sounded pissed.

“Just me, and I volunteered.” Mari finally saw how Damian was staring at her. “It’s different here than what you’re used to. As long as the heroes win all the physical damage goes away. Even if something happens to me it would only be permanent if Hawkmoth won. That’s a risk I’m willing to take.” From an outside perspective it had to sound nuts. Even knowing she was Ladybug, Chloe still didn’t like it.

“And you just allow this?” She could only raise an eyebrow at Damian’s question.

“I don’t allow anything. Mari is her own person. Just because I don’t like her being in danger doesn’t mean I have any right to stop her. I’m here for her when she needs me and that has to be enough.” It absolutely wasn’t. That was why she and Adrien stuck to her like glue whenever they were able. Unfortunately once Gabriel started targeting Mari, he wouldn’t let Adrien near her so unless he was transformed Chloe was the only option. Not that she minded.

“That’s… an interesting perspective.” Damian didn’t seem to know how to take it. Given how much he complained about his family babying him she could understand why. He likely wasn’t used to people who didn’t question every decision, let alone didn’t nag him about it. Granted his protection mentality was kind of hot but it could cause problems if she needed to get away from him to transform.

“It’s a matter of trust. We trust each other and we trust the heroes.” Same thing but he didn’t know that. “Now, why don’t we head back to the hotel so Mari can stop stressing about our safety?” He hesitated but did eventually get up.

“I’ll call you later Chloe.” She waved to acknowledge Mari’s words as she led Damian out. The last thing she wanted was to give him time to change his mind. He was quiet and staring at the ground almost the entire way back to the hotel.

“Do you trust me?” Chloe could only blink at him for a moment as she tried to process that question. She wanted to say yes but she couldn’t.

“I trust you as much as I can given that we really don’t know each other that well. Mari has taught me to give the benefit of the doubt, so unless I find out you lied to me I trust you with most things.” She watched him cock his head to the side as he studied her.

“Most things?” She just gave him a lopsided smile.

“Everyone has secrets Damian. Everyone has things that belong only to them. I’m sure there are plenty of things you don’t trust me with either.” He just scowled and muttered something she couldn’t hear before stalking towards the hotel. It wasn’t the reaction she expected.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Chloe’s Bee name in this one comes from the tree wasp (Dolichovespula sylvestris) which is actually native to western Europe)

“It shouldn’t be possible for her to still be this bad at this.” Ladybug had to stop herself from snapping at Chat for the glib comment. She knew that no one else seemed to think there was anything more to Lila’s Akumatizations than the obvious but she could feel something wrong. Up until a year ago she’d been getting more and more dangerous. Then, for no discernable reason, their fights had been getting easier every time. It felt planned. She didn’t like it.

“It feels like she’s just doing it for attention anymore. Have you noticed the way she always goes crying to any reporter she can find? It’s pathetic.” Sylves was certainly right about that. Lila was currently sobbing to a group of them.

“Wait… every fight for the last six months has ended only once reporters show up. She’s doing this on purpose.” Great, now she was going to have to go through hours of interviews all featuring Lila Rossi. Yay. Because that was exactly how she wanted to spend her free time.

“Ladybug, thank you so much for saving me again!” Oh dear Kwami, she was bringing the reporters over to them.

“Of course Mlle. Rossi. I know this must be terrible for you. Have you had a chance to look into any of the resources I gave you?” The answer was obviously no since she didn’t care, but as Ladybug she still had a duty to ask. Lila smirked at her. That couldn’t be good.

“Oh yes! It was so nice of you to put that together for me. Unfortunately there wasn’t anything I could use. You see I can’t meditate because being still for too long Causes my back injury to flare up. Same for the yoga or any other exercise.” And now she had fake tears in her eyes. She really hoped Sylves wasn’t rolling her eyes behind them. “And my mother is just a public servant so we can’t afford therapy.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that. But if not for the cost do you think therapy would be a good option for you?” She made sure her tone was the right blend of curious and concerned. Chloe kept telling her she was a much better actress ever since having to deal with Lila. She couldn’t tell if that was a good thing. Lila’s look turned even more predatory before those fake tears began falling

“I try not to think about it since it’s not possible. But yes, I think it would help me so much to have someone I can talk to about anything and not worry about being judged for it.” Ladybug barely contained a smile. Checkmate.

“In that case I have some great news!” Lila’s face went blank and the reporters were leaning in to hear what she was saying. She was enjoying this far more than she should. Opening her yoyo, she pulled out a sheet of paper. “All these people are licensed therapists who have approached me saying they’re willing to help Akuma victims pro bono. There are at least thirty of them so you can research them and find one you’re comfortable with.” She could practically feel Chat and Sylves behind her trying not to laugh. Lila’s face was turning an interesting shade of red.

“That would be wonderful but do you really think it’s right for you to use your status as a hero to force people to give away their services?” Seriously, how were people fooled by this act? It was obvious she thought she’d landed a hit.

“No I don’t, and I would never do that. As I said they approached me because they wanted to get the word out. All the news stations will be getting that list in the next few days from the non profit they started. It’s such a wonderful service and it’s always so nice to see the citizens of Paris coming together to help each other. Those are the real heroes.” Chloe had been coaching her on public speaking and politics. Lila didn’t stand a chance and that sound bite was going to be on every news station within an hour.

————————————————–

“Did you see the look on her face? And that strangled sound that came out… priceless!” They were back in Chloe’s suite and Adrien was on the floor still laughing about the encounter. Marinette didn’t even want to guess how much trouble he’d be in if his father found out where he was. Chloe just rolled her eyes at him.

“Yes, and even if we hadn’t you’ve reproduced it more than enough times for us already.” Adrien just pouted at her but Chloe was too busy staring out the window to notice.

“What’s wrong?”

“She was baiting you.” Marinette shared a confused look with Adrien.

“She always baits me. It’s kind of her thing.” Chloe’s frown just got deeper. No sarcastic comment. That couldn’t be good. “What are you thinking?”

“She’s trying to get you to go off on her on camera. It’s the only thing that makes sense. Can you imagine the damage it could do to your reputation if you yelling at a civilian ‘victim’ ended up on the news? It could easily turn into another heroes day fiasco.” That certainly made a lot more sense than that she’d suddenly just gotten bad at being an Akuma. But at the same time, she’d started ramping down a year ago but had only been going for reporters for half that time. She’d be willing to bet Chloe was right but there was almost certainly another plan in place.

“So I don’t lose my cool on camera. I can handle that.” Chloe still looked worried but did nod. “What else?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t like the fact that she’s targeting Marinette and Ladybug so obviously.”

“Subtlety was never her strong suit, but I think she’s at the point where she knows she won’t get caught or called out on it.” Adrien sounded annoyed and she didn’t blame him. Between the school refusing to be responsible and Gabriel protecting her public image it was nearly impossible to make anything stick.


End file.
